70 - Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.

The First Step to Change Is Facing Reality: A Practical Guide

A person standing at the edge of a dark forest, looking into it with determination before taking the first step, symbolizing facing a challenge.

For years, I was in a job that made me miserable. I complained about my boss, the long hours, and the mind-numbing work. My "solution" was to hope things would magically get better. I'd hope for a new manager or a change in company policy. I was waiting to be rescued because I was avoiding a difficult truth: the job itself was a dead end, and I was the only person who could do anything about it.

The change began the moment I stopped hoping and started facing reality. I sat down and wrote, "This job will not improve. The career path here is not for me." It was painful to admit, but it was also liberating. By looking the problem squarely in the eye, I was no longer a passive victim of my circumstances. I was an active agent in my own life. Within six months, I had retrained for a new field and started my own small consulting business. Nothing could change until I faced the truth.

This personal transformation is at the heart of James Baldwin's powerful insight:

"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced."

This quote is a two-part manual for effective action. It teaches us both the limits of our control and the absolute necessity of courage.

Part 1: Not Everything That Is Faced Can Be Changed

This is the wisdom of acceptance. Some things are outside of our control: the past, the weather, the actions of others. Wasting energy trying to change the unchangeable leads to frustration and burnout. True wisdom lies in recognizing what we cannot control and making peace with it.

Part 2: Nothing Can Be Changed Until It Is Faced

This is the power of confrontation. For the things that *are* within our control—our habits, our careers, our relationships, our mindset—change is impossible without first acknowledging the reality of the situation. Avoidance is the enemy of progress. You cannot fix a problem you refuse to see.

A 3-Step Framework for Facing Reality and Making a Change

If you feel stuck in any area of your life, use this simple but powerful exercise:

  1. Write It Down (Face It): Take out a piece of paper. At the top, write down the uncomfortable truth you've been avoiding. Be brutally honest. For example: "I am in debt because of my spending habits," or "My health is poor because I don't prioritize exercise."
  2. Sort into "Control" vs. "No Control": Draw a line down the middle. On the left side, list all the aspects of this problem you *cannot* change (e.g., past mistakes, interest rates). On the right, list everything you *can* control (e.g., creating a budget, cooking at home, going for a 10-minute walk today).
  3. Identify One Action (Change It): Look at your "Control" list. Circle the single smallest, easiest action you can take *right now*. Not tomorrow, not next week. Right now. This is your starting point. The goal isn't to solve the whole problem, but to break the paralysis of avoidance and begin the process of change.

Conclusion

Change is not born from hope or wishful thinking. It is born from the courage to look at our lives with unflinching honesty and the wisdom to focus our energy only on what we can control. By facing reality, you reclaim your power to shape it.

What is one reality you need to face in order to start making a positive change in your life? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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