52 - "You Miss 100% of the Shots You Don’t Take"

The Anchor and the Sail: How to Tie Your Happiness to a Goal

For years, my happiness was tied to my job title. I worked relentlessly, believing that the moment I was promoted to "Senior Manager," I would finally feel successful and content. I got the promotion. For about a week, I was ecstatic. Then, the feeling faded, replaced by a new anxiety: "What's next? Director?" I had tied my happiness to a thing—a title on a business card—and it was a dangerously unstable anchor.

I saw the same pattern in my personal life, tying my sense of well-being to the approval of others or the acquisition of the next new gadget. My happiness was a ship tossed around by external winds—a colleague's comment, a delayed package, a change in someone's mood. I was constantly seeking stability in things that were, by their very nature, temporary and outside of my control.

It was only when I shifted my focus from an *outcome* to a *process* that I understood the wisdom in Albert Einstein’s advice:

"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things."

This isn't just about ambition; it's a practical formula for building a stable, internal source of happiness that no one can take away from you.

The Trap of External Anchors

When you tie your happiness to people or things, you give away your power. Your emotional state becomes dependent on:

• People: Who might change their minds, leave, or have a bad day.
• Things: Which can break, become obsolete, or lose their novelty.

A goal, however, is different. A well-chosen goal is an internal anchor. It’s a direction and a process that you own completely.

How to Tie Your Life to a Goal: A 3-Step Guide

The key is to attach your happiness to a goal that is a *process*, not a destination. Here’s how to do it:

1. Choose a "Verb" Goal, Not a "Noun" Goal: A "noun" goal is a thing (e.g., a promotion, a new car, a perfect relationship). A "verb" goal is an action you control (e.g., learning, building, creating, improving). Instead of "get a promotion," the goal becomes "mastering a new skill every quarter." Instead of "finding the perfect partner," it becomes "becoming a more compassionate and interesting person."
2. Measure the Process, Not the Outcome: Your satisfaction should come from the work itself. If your goal is to become a better writer, don't measure happiness by whether you get published. Measure it by whether you wrote for 30 minutes today. Celebrate the act of showing up. This gives you a "win" every single day, creating a consistent source of self-generated happiness.
3. Set a Direction, Not a Destination: A goal isn't a final endpoint where happiness is waiting. It's a compass that gives your life direction and purpose. The happiness isn't found at "north"; it's found on the journey *toward* north. Your goal is simply to keep walking in your chosen direction, and that act of intentional movement is the source of a happy life.

Conclusion

Happiness is not something you acquire; it is something you generate. By tying your life to the pursuit of a meaningful goal—a process you can control and a direction that inspires you—you build an unshakable foundation for contentment.

Stop chasing the fleeting approval of people and the temporary thrill of things. Choose your goal, embrace your process, and start living a truly happy life today.

What is one "verb" goal you could tie your happiness to this week? Share your idea in the comments!